Category Archives: Humor

Sure to thrill radical Islamists everywhere!

Suspects Identified: Mossad Implicated in Dubai Aquarium Attack (Photos Enclosed)

Dubai intelligence services have provided detailed breakdowns & identities of 4 suspected MOSSAD operatives implicated in today’s Dubai Mall Aquarium Attack.

Interpol has been notified, and authorities at all international crossing points are asked to be vigilant for any sign of the 4 wanted individuals. Dubai has claimed near 100% certainty the suspects are Israeli Mossad agents, and Israeli ambassadors in Uganda & Ireland have been summoned for questioning in the matter..

It is believed at least 3000 gallons of salt water were lost as a result of the attack which prompted the evacuation of Dubai’s largest mall. Below, the intelligence identification manifest provided by Dubai intelligence services, painstakingly pieced together from hours of CCTV footage.

Dubai Releases List of 4 Mossad Suspects in Aquarium Attack

Zero Contention: Commentary’s Blog is Ridiculously Good

Is it safe to put all this brainpower in one spot?

Are you wondering what I’m rambling about? I’m rambling about Contentions, and in a few paragraphs I’ll be rambling about two of its contenders specifically - Jennifer Rubin & Rick Richman.

Before I do I want to establish a few odd things. For instance, I’ve never seen American Idol. Nor does the current Israeli wave of reality TV even hold the most remote sense of draw for me. Without meaning to insult, I consider these things glorified stupidity. Ironic since I have no qualms whatsoever engaging in occasional stupidity myself. I watch C-Span, those cheeky monkeys now have three channels so I am steadily convincing myself I get a lot of variety in my viewing, sometimes its good to lie to yourself. Instead of all that TV I read a lot.

Secondly, I like Wyoming. I’ve never been to Wyoming, I don’t even know anything about Wyoming – Except that Dick Cheney comes from Wyoming so Wyoming is awesome. I also like Commentary magazine, so if you shock me and tell me John Podhoretz is also from Wyoming, I may have to move there. But, to be clear I am not moving from Israel unless it is to live with Dick Cheney & John Podhoretz in Wyoming, and in light of the fact that I am dubious about Podhoretz coming from Wyoming it means I can thankfully stay in Israel for now.

Yes, I am a Neo-Con.

Ooooh, scary. I have always been a Neo-Con. I think Bill Kristol is charming and if I ever got a tattoo it would read AEI. My two favorite words are National & Security and my least favorite current word is Obama. In fact, I believe that President Obama is himself a glorified reality TV show, complete with scripts, cameras & his very own producers. He is in my opinion, glorified stupidity that millions upon millions of people tune into daily, they even buy the products! It doesn’t hurt my theory that his administration liberally borrows from and perhaps even believes they are enacting the West Wing TV Show incidentally..

I’m getting there, stop pestering me.

With that established, I want to talk about Commentary’s blog Contentions. It’s really good. There are some fine writers there, even Rosner is all right and this is a big concession for me because I live not too far from the Haaretz building in Tel Aviv, and whenever I pass it I feel a chill go through me as if editorial evil itself might be emanating from within. Clearly, if Obama were to happen to visit the Haaretz building for filming his latest episode and I were in the vicinity my head might explode. Thankfully there’s a good chance his TV show cameras would be there so ratings that night would be blockbuster. Hey! Anything I can do to help buddy.

As I was saying before you interrupted me, Contentions is really very very good. But two of its bloggers specifically have been astounding me. I am not easily astounded, there’s a lot of crap in the blogosphere and that includes the Jblogosphere too and some of it happens to lead the way in visitors, making this for me overall a poor metric of quality. For myself, quality is measured by how often I visit a place to read, I could care less where other people are visiting in all honesty. It is rare indeed for me to consistently finish reading something a blogger or writer has written and then say – Wow, you know what? That is really really good, it is factual, insightful, well argued and well written.


So you can imagine my surprise when I first started noticing this occurring frequently in very specific cases I think it was last year. I kept finishing reading things thinking those very thoughts, and since suffering information overload I would only bother actually seeing who wrote it at the end (that statement is sure to thrill many many bloggers!).

Jennifer Rubin, and then Jennifer Rubin, and again Jennifer Rubin until I stopped and said - Who the hell is Jennifer Rubin? How come I’ve never heard of this woman before!? I’m not a stupid guy, and this is evidenced by the fact that this Jennifer Rubin is now everywhere, yes.. I even saw her on C-Span.

Now, in time I know who Jennifer Rubin is superficially, but this was formative for me in general regarding blogging and what I read. There was a big span of time for instance when I stopped reading PJM entirely because quality was way down (apart from Ledeen who was sporadic, and Fernandez whom I just like and a few others), but I started visiting again more frequently because I wanted to read some Rubin.


I may be mistaken having read literally thousands of blog posts, but I think that’s where I first read another writer’s posts, this guy Richman. if not, it doesn’t really matter because it makes for a decent segueway nonetheless. Back at Contentions which was now firmly in my reading column albeit selectively, I started noticing this same phenomenon that occurred with Rubin, except the name was Richman? Confused yet? Good.

I was saying to myself, hey.. That’s pretty good, well written, good argument etc. Once again, I could be bothered to notice who was writing, Richman. Oh Rick Richman wrote this, ah that figures.. Hey, that’s pretty good (scrolling back up) oh, yeah it’s Rick Richman.

So now I find myself exactly where I was previously, wondering ‘who the hell is this guy’ and how come I’ve never heard of him before? There are other really good writers at Contentions overall as well.

Is it safe to gather all this really good stuff at one spot? We need these tools going forward to fight the good fight. As stated before I learned to think strategically from Dick Cheney.. Maybe we should move some of them to Wyoming? You know.. Just to be safe.

I’ll be away from my blog for the weekend, traveling in Israel. But I thought why not leave something amusing to read and a pointer to more good stuff beyond the usual links to other bloggers my little cadre of readers already know well. Try Contentions, you might like it..

I slotted this as humor, but it is more imbued with some sarcasm and some amusement than super funny. Oh well. I blame Obama.

Israel Fields New Weapon: “A terrible stench – the smell of a rotting, dead animal”

Yes, its been at least 48 hours since I wrote about weapons, so this is like manna from the gods of war.. A weapon against pesky ‘protesters’ who keep coming up to our security fence and causing problems so wonderful it can only be made in Israel : )

“A terrible stench – the smell of a rotting, dead animal,” says left-wing activist Dr. David Nir in disgust. For over three years he has been participating in protests against the separation fence, but he wasn’t prepared for this: Three weeks ago, at a demonstration in the West Bank village of Na’alin, he personally experiencedthe debut of Boash – the Skunk – a new method of dispersing demonstrations, developed by the Israel Police.

“We are very experienced, very familiar with the rubber bullets, the tear-gas grenades and the water hoses, but suddenly two Border Policemen arrived with strange packs on their backs and began to spray demonstrators with a liquid,” says Nir. “It was terrible. Some people got completely drenched. Fortunately, I managed to stay out of range and did not get too much of it, but the smell stuck to me, too. It was absorbed into my skin. It was really unpleasant. I couldn’t stand the stench; you deserve a gold medal for putting up with that smell.

“A week after the demonstration in Na’alin, a white truck arrived at a demonstration in Bil’in,” Nir continues. “It began approaching and we tried to keep our distance.” The truck stopped near the fence, “and then we heard the motor working harder in order to create condensed air for operating the Skunk cannon. And then it came: Strong bursts of a foul-smelling spray were showered on us, directly hitting those who didn’t move away, at up to a 30- to 50-meter radius. Because the wind was with the cannon, most of us were enveloped in vapors of stench that penetrated our lungs. On the way to Tel Aviv we drove with open windows, but we were unable to get rid of the smell even when we sprayed ourselves with deodorant. There are no words to describe it; it’s the worst odor imaginable. It’s an experience equal to jumping headfirst into a sewer. The Palestinians simply call it ‘shit.’ [...]

Ohhh, I love it!

In fact instead of electricity or water supplies we should pump this skunk action right into the faucets of troublemakers & terrorists’ homes! It’s totally non violent, somewhat vile but non lethal depending on whom you ask, heck read it all. If you are walking around Tel Aviv and run into someone who smells like ‘a rotting, dead animal’ he’s probably a left wing pro-pali peace protester, do me a favor.. Give him a good smack for me.

Boash the Skunk! I’m quickly falling in love with you my friend..

We’ve got the secret formula it seems, give ‘em a good hosing boys, hose ‘em down reeeeeeeeal nice. I want to see fleets of these white trucks, raise my taxes if you must – but spray this ‘shit‘ as they call it all over my Palestinian protesting friends day & night.

HECK – we should carpet bomb Damascus with tanks of the stuff, just like fighting fires aerially - Give us the Golan or Else! Sadly this may not work so well in Gaza where they run sewage out in the open down the street, but I am willing to try!!

Parody Action Video: Leave Israel ALONE!

Ahh, lol from JPOST

This talented young Israeli Orit does a classic Israel Schtick regarding the obnoxious Chris Crocker viral video phenomenon from a few weeks ago.

Orit is a lot more pleasant to look at then the androgynous Crocker, plus the one liners are pretty darn funny! Nice job, we’ve got talent in the tribe, who knew? (that who knew part was sarcasm.)

Both youtubes below. Warning COARSE Language, she parodies crocker so there’s a few F-Bombs thrown in there lol.

Continue reading

Law & Order: Gaza Style

(Re-posted  Sep 1st. after some database corruption..
24 hrs downtime & I lost last week’s posts, oh well..
shared hosting what can you do.)

The Joys of living in an Islamist State!

I tell you living next door to a terrorist mini state has its charms. Next time you are feeling blue because this Israeli Govt sucks pants, just think..

In no time at all you could hop in a car & live an hour away in a Palestinian Democracy!..

Well a Palestinian Democracy seized by the winners of the vote, who are actually terrorists who seized control from the former holocaust denying President, who was also formerly Prime Minister, appointed by the arch terrorist Arafat, who led the Fatah party now opposed to the current Terrorist government, but was formerly in another terrorist government created by Oslo, which has a new Prime Minister now, but which also preceded the current terrorist democracy, which is not actually recognized as so, because a new government was declared recently in Ramallah, which is not actually attached to Gaza because it was previously occupied by Jordan which.. Uhh it’s complicated.

Safe to say all these people below have it all A-OK under control and we should proceed to final status negotiations at once.

They are a model for failed mini-states everywhere, everyone wants a few more terrorist led mini-states right!?

Hamas has it under control..

Photo AFP

(AFP Photo)

Some HAMAS ‘police’ patrolling the streets.. They don’t lead through fear & intimidation, try to understand everyone dresses like this in Gaza right!?

REUTERS / Mohammed Salem

(Photo Reuters / Mohammed Salem)

Members of the ‘Hamas Executive Force fire’ firing their machine guns in the air to ‘lawfully maintain order’ at a Fatah organized rally. Two men in the foreground seen ‘exercizing’ as recommended by the Palestinian Surgeon General, in order to maintain excellent fitness and combat the Zionist infidels

AP Photo/Adel Hana

(AP Photo by Adel Hana)

A Fatah man protesting ‘recent democratic activities’ by the ruling terrorist Hamas powers that be, picks up a rock to throw at someone while Hamas policemen (as above) fire machine guns in the air to maintain more ‘Law & Order’.

AP Photo / Hatem Moussa

(AP Photo/Hatem Moussa)

Now Fatah protesters running for their lives / cover from Hamas gunmen, uhh ‘Policemen’ firing machine guns to maintain ‘Law & Order’ in the nascent Hamas Democracy.

(Photo AFP Mahmud Hams)

“I’m proud of the work we’re doing here.. Allahuackbar!..
and send more ammunitio.. Oh you are Amerikkkan news right? Send more food, people are starving here.”

Update Sept 1st:

Tens of thousands of Gazans rally at Egyptian border demanding it be reopened. Hamas gunmen fire shots, leaving one brain dead, seven others injured

Associated Press / via YNET

Eight Palestinian protesters were wounded Saturday, including one pronounced brain dead, at a Hamas rally on the Egyptian border, medics said.

Tens of thousands of flag-waving Hamas supporters gathered at the Rafah border crossing with Egypt to demand it be reopened. The border, Gaza’s only gateway to Egypt, has been shut since Hamas’ bloody takeover of the Gaza Strip in June. Hamas charges that Abbas’ government does not want the crossing opened because that would help the Islamic group hold on to power in Gaza.

Hamas gunmen fired in the air as hundreds of protesters tried to rush the border terminal and attempted to infiltrate into Egypt. A teenager was shot in the head, and was later pronounced brain dead, medics said. Seven others were wounded by gunfire and trampling. [...]

[tags]Hamas, Fatah, Gaza, Good Governance[/tags]

Israel haters hack UN web site

Protesting against Israel by hacking the UN website!?

Interesting, I think I’m following the logic here! Tomorrow I will protest animal cruelty by buying a BIG bucket of KFC chicken! (Don’t push me, I’m near the edge - it was like 33 degrees today, I might take this protest to the next level and insist on ‘all white meat’ that way a few extra birds go down to fill my 20 piece quota).

Syney Morning Herald 

The official website of the United Nations appeared to have been hacked on Sunday and briefly displayed a message protesting US and Israeli policies in the Middle East.

The section of the site reserved to statements by UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon showed a message, repeated several times, that read: “Hacked By kerem125 M0sted and Gsy That is CyberProtest Hey Ysrail and Usa dont kill children and other people Peace for ever No war.”

The message also appeared on other web pages that usually display quotes and speeches from the secretary general. The pirate message disappeared from the UN website,, at about 9:15 am (1315 GMT). “We are very concerned that this happened and we are investigating,”said UN spokesman Alex Cerniglia. “We will make security changes to prevent this from happening again,” he said. Previous attacks attributed to the hackers found on other websites suggested that at least one of them was Turkish. [...]

Goes on to then briefly state that the hack was in protest to the Lebanon war, I take it they mean Israel’s defensive actions regarding Hezbollah last summer.

I’m left wondering only one thing really, do I still get to keep the bucket of chicken!?