Islamic Jihad having a ‘keniption’

Wild Jihadis threaten Israeli leaders

GAZA (Reuters) – Islamic Jihad threatened on Wednesday to target Israeli leaders after a series of Israeli air strikes and raids killed key members of the Palestinian militant group.

“Leaders of the enemy should know that they personally are targets,” Islamic Jihad said in a statement faxed to the Reuters office in Gaza.

The statement said the group had ordered all its cells to launch attacks inside Israel. It was unclear from the statement which Israeli leaders might be targeted. 

Intent on going out in a blaze of glory 

You see, there are two schools of thought on what to do when you are being targeted by one of the World’s premier military / intelligence forces:

1) Lay low, offer conciliatory gestures, send gift basket etc.. Or
2) Get quoted in Reuters, effectively signing your death warrant.

It should not astound that Islamic Jihad has opted for school of thought number 2.
Like a cornered jackal, the rocket launching Islamic Jihad is being literally rocked to the core.

Undeniable Genius

As a result, the combined undeniable genius that is Islamic Jihad has come up with the following strategy. Not only will we continually target innocent civilians which has resulted in us running for our lives, but we’ll also threaten the leaders of those civilians! Allah be praised, now we are surely dead!

You can’t get that kind of clear thinking today folks, this is only attainable after years of intense koran study and living with the danger of slowly simmering sentex over an open flame gas stove, you know to get the mix ‘just right’. I can only imagine what a brainstorming session is like at Jihad Islami HQ:

Jihadi: We’re out of milk..
Jihadi leader: The Zionists will pay for this atrocity.

As a gesture of reconciliation I offer some American style self help for my Islami friends..

“You can’t just emulate the prophet, you need to BE the prophet!”

I can only imagine the sheer look of frustration on these jackasses faces when they finally get upstairs, only to find that all the Virgins are apparently hanging out with the nice Jewish boys.. Who thanks to Abraham, Isaac & Jacob have all the free passes to the booze and best clubs. Shafted, again!

The sequel to this story will no doubt be up for an academy award next year: “Dead Jihadi Walking”

[tags]Islamic Jihad, Israel, War on Terror[/tags]